I mostly do what Eleanor tells me. She hands me the onesie, the diaper, the puree - I slip it, snap it, and spoon it on Clay. I couldn't tell you the difference between a prefold and a pocket or the names of the baby's stuffed animals. But there are a few things that I'm pretty much the king of around here. This is my list of must-haves for an infant:
1. Clothing With No Snaps, Buttons, Zippers, or Velcro - Ain't nobody got time for that.
2. iPhone - For taking five hundred pictures of your son picking his nose (and then instagramming them), for playing him the music that changed the world, and for receiving frantic text messages from your wife to pick up more wipes on the way home.
3. Stroller Capable of Off-Roading - Because you have to cut some corners/lawns when you're rushing to make it home before the baby falls asleep.
4. Swing - I'm honestly a little confused why Clay outgrew this so quickly; what person doesn't want to be rocked to sleep in a fur-upholstered bed to nature sounds?
5. Giant Bibs - There was a reason I said "spoon it on Clay" in the first paragraph. Things get pretty crazy around meal time here, and the bibs at least keep some parts clean.
6. Pacifiers in Every Room of the House - My suggested number: 50 billion.
7. Socks - You will also want a very large number of these notorious runaways. Matching is optional.
8. This Book - Sometimes it just good to know someone's already been there and done that.
-Scott
Note From Eleanor: I'm going to push back on the "matching is optional" statement.
1. Clothing With No Snaps, Buttons, Zippers, or Velcro - Ain't nobody got time for that.
2. iPhone - For taking five hundred pictures of your son picking his nose (and then instagramming them), for playing him the music that changed the world, and for receiving frantic text messages from your wife to pick up more wipes on the way home.
3. Stroller Capable of Off-Roading - Because you have to cut some corners/lawns when you're rushing to make it home before the baby falls asleep.
4. Swing - I'm honestly a little confused why Clay outgrew this so quickly; what person doesn't want to be rocked to sleep in a fur-upholstered bed to nature sounds?
5. Giant Bibs - There was a reason I said "spoon it on Clay" in the first paragraph. Things get pretty crazy around meal time here, and the bibs at least keep some parts clean.
6. Pacifiers in Every Room of the House - My suggested number: 50 billion.
7. Socks - You will also want a very large number of these notorious runaways. Matching is optional.
8. This Book - Sometimes it just good to know someone's already been there and done that.
-Scott
Note From Eleanor: I'm going to push back on the "matching is optional" statement.
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